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Excuse me if I don’t get excited

By May 30, 2001January 12th, 2024No Comments

When Viagra arrived on the scene, it did so with all guns blazing. Now viacream for women makes a more gentle entrance via another route. Whether this new development is in the interests of equal opportunity or merely a new marketing opportunity, one thing is certain: this new cream makes sex more topical than ever.

Viacream is a topical cream that acts as a stimulant to the clitoral soft tissue. According to a recent press release, this pleasuring cream helps women’s sexual dysfunction and makes our lives more promising than ever. We are told every woman, whether we are multi orgasmic or sexually frustrated, stands to benefit from the regular use of viacream. Apparently, women just need to apply viacream to their clitoral tissue and bingo, our lives will be transformed. We will achieve maximum sexual fulfilment, greater intimacy, and enhanced relationships.

There is, however, a rub to all this. Most intimate and loving relationships are based on much more than genital stimulation. While some may equate intimacy with intercourse and orgasms, others have a richer and more complex understanding of intimacy. For most adults, greater intimacy and enhanced relationships are not merely a product of the quality or quantity of orgasms. Many other issues come first.

Research indicates that the application of viacream results in women having “a vigorous tingle”. However it is not stated whether it is the process of the application, the person who assist in this process, or the ingredients of the cream at self that causes the “vigorous tingle”. Nonetheless, it is reassuring to know that viacream has been critically evaluated by nurses and other women, including physicians.

The clinical evaluation of viacream appears to be a version of the ‘doctors and nurses’ game that many of us played in childhood. In the adult version, our orgasms are measured scientifically. It appears that those in the experimental group performed better on the orgasm scale than those in the control group.

Wrapped in sanitary, individual packs, viacream is convenient to use and can be discreetly carried in a woman’s handbag, perhaps alongside condoms and an emergency vibrator. Soon, women will need a bag that is designed specifically for caring our sexual accoutrementd. Maybe each purchaser of viacream could be given a free viacarry show-bag. It would certainly make things less messy.

To purchase viacream, you do not need a medical prescription because the cream contains only menthol mixed with an amino acid that is found in many dietary products. The press release explains that “at long last, women can enjoy enhanced physical sensation, naturally with viacream”. Even though we may be exhausted after a day of both paid and unpaid work, we can now have instant gratification by a dollop of cream between our legs. With viacream, some women may even decide to forget the hassle of relationships altogether.

Rather than address the range of reasons some women do not achieve orgasm the makers of a viacream take a simple approach: when a woman experiences more enjoyment and fulfilment during intercourse, she will be more inclined and even more desirous to have intercourse more frequently. This makes me wonder where the men, not women, will rush out to purchase viacream.

In the past, women enjoyed physical sensations with our partners, or indeed with ourselves. Now we have a new product to help us do it naturally. Viacream is just another product in a long line of products that attempts to improve human relationships. This time, the intent is to sell a product that increases female responsiveness to sex. Many of us, however, will continue to respond to the allure of romance. Attraction, love, lust, chemistry… These are commodities that cannot be traded on the free market. You can buy sex, but you cannot buy intimacy.

Economic rationalism tries to reduce intimacy to sex. We see this every day in advertisements. Perhaps future romantic playwrights will write scenes like: “Romeo! Romeo! Where for out thou Romeo?”

“Just dashed off to the chemist dear, and damn! She was out of Viagra and viacream. Looks like will have to wait till tomorrow night.”

With men popping Viagra and women applying viacream, orgasms are fast becoming pharmaceutical commodities. Soon, the question on everyone’s lips will be how much did you pay for yours? I don’t want to rub it in, but sometimes the best things in life are free.

First published in The Age 30 May 2001.

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